my salmagundi

Our first Christmas Baking

2011-12-13T21:26:00.000-08:00

Pulling out the flour and eggs for some Christmas baking is near the pinnacle of holiday cheer. Doing it for the first time with your 1+ year old daughter... even better. Here's a Olive at the kitchen table taking a turn to mix our emerging cookie dough.

One of my favorite parts was that we were making those peanut butter cookies with the hersheys kisses on top.... which required peeling the kisses. Olive was all over it. She precisely peeled off each wrapper and separated the "yuck" wrapper into one bowl and the "ca-ca" (candy) into another bowl. She didn't even think of eating them because she was so into task of peeling and separating. Haha.

Merry Christmas!

Olive playing tug with Abbey

2011-10-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Just a quick entry here to post a video of Olive:

Monterey Dunes

2011-10-15T00:19:00.000-07:00

Skipping down to the beach. Olive asking to hold baby Toryn. Yummy what-is-it-called seafood soup. Lounging ... yes luxurious lounging in my oceanview chaise. Beautiful sunsets.

We spent a good weekend at Monterey Dunes to kick off October.


On our way to the beach!! (with bear)


Walking down to the beach for the first time with Gma

Ooh, the "o-sun" (ocean)

Exploring with Daddy

Fun with family

Grandma with Olive and Toryn

Brian and Jason went surfing


Loves putting her hands in pockets

And taking in sunsets... ahhh

Unborne

2011-09-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Unborne? I guess that should say "unborn" but it seems more balanced with the "e" at the end, don't you think? And it adds the connotation of bearing a burden. Maybe I'll borrow it from nonexistence for this posting.

I have been ruminating on some of MmeBookling's thoughts about the creative journey this morning. It has brought back memories of childhood aspirations and wondering about soul-proximal potential. I have always thought reading and writing to be something very "soul-centric" for me... a stunted creative journey. In the space and luxury of childhood, reading and writing were a mammoth of my days. Their absence in my life now causes me to weigh whether this hiatus is merited... a worthwhile sacrifice? What is the cost to my present, my future, my soul, my family?

As I steal moments with the laptop, Olive is playing with a cup of cotton balls on the floor--moving them one by one from the ottoman to the cup and then dumping them all over the floor. Well, now she has moved on to a ukulele, its dissonant notes almost pleasant.

In truth, the pace of motherhood is not the primary reason the pen and keyboard have remained distant. It is my aversion to producing drab drivel that has kept me away. I don't want to write if nothing good will come out. And time and distance have made me increasingly hesitant. Still, work doesn't usually appeal until you are elbows deep in it. Writing feels much the same to me--as if there is nothing to write until I really "get in there."

So here's my first investment in "getting elbows deep" and in bearing... to the end of something being born.

It's wet.

2011-05-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

Letting the morning take you in.

Sweet moment with Auntie

I've been yearning for the increased light of the sun and the way it lightens my breath and quickens my step. Still, I am trying to absorb the pensive, pervasive, melancholic peace of the rain and stratus overhead. I don't want to miss out on a breath of moisture-laden air or for my skin to momentarily forget the quiet, willful attitude of the rain here.

Today in the midst of garage sale preparations, Olive wandered out of the covering of the garage and into the rain. The simple rain. She was a bit captivated, a bit perplexed, and totally enthralled with the independence of exploration. I loved seeing her enjoy the same rain that I enjoy. She walked back and forth... well more like scampering... in the rain, letting the gutters drip the extra large drips right onto her head. Can't wait to buy rain boots for her and go out and put them to the test when we can properly stomp in the puddles.

It's wet.

Mommy Days

2011-04-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

Saturdays try to be mommy days... a morning when Daddy takes O to morning coffee and Mommy gets to sleep in. Errands where I can jog from the car into the store and back... without buckling someone else up before me, and I can play the music in the car too loud. Today is cloudy but I feel the energy of one of the first sunny mornings of the spring.

Highlights of the week: a walk alone with B last weekend while we were in CA. O pretending to mix some mysterious something with a little yellow plastic knife and a miniature cup and then making me drink it. Clean... well clean-ER house. Belated hair cut checked off the to-do list.

And a few pics from the past weeks:

Spatter of Moments

2011-04-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

It was cold in the house one morning and Olive was bundled up, happily munching on cheerios. Don't you wish you were carefree, bundled up and eating cheerios?

Olive has so many different expressions, some last only a split second and it's hard to capture them. This smile is one of my favorites. My mom says she looks like me as a baby here.

One day in September we took Olive to the beach when we were in California. It was a really special day as a family. Yeay, the ocean!

We finished off the day with a trip to the Tres Amigos...according to tradition!

Mmmmmm

Tree Frog

2010-05-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

It is fun to hear Olive explore her newfound vocal talents. Seems like each day she makes a new little sound at some point. Today she gave me a vocal warning whenever she was getting tired - sounded like a creaky little tree frog. So funny.

My little deck plants. Lettuce, flowers, tomatoes, herbs. But darn little birds! They keep rooting in the dirt trying to find tasty seed morsels. I strung a couple pop cans above one planter trying to scare them away (unless I find some wire or something better).

This isn't her tree frog song, but I like the vocals on this one.

Another video

2010-05-20T20:47:00.000-07:00

Here's another video from last weekend. Sorry this post is so "unjazzy' but the video is what you care about anyway.

Playtime!

2010-05-18T22:19:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to learn how to publish a video on my blog, so here goes my first attempt:

Olive - 3 months old

2010-05-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

Miss Olive is 3 months old! I can hardly believe it. Trying to intentionally enjoy each moment to the fullest, remembering how fleeting this sweet time is. I want to really look her in the eyes and remember.

Thanks to Auntie Michelle for the sweet sweater. :)

Olive loves walking but not the bright sun in her eyes, so we christened the still-too-big hat from Grandma Sandy. [And I am borrowing B's sunglasses? How is it that sunglasses go missing during winter?

Abbey loves Olive. To lick or not to lick... I feel bad for telling Abbey not to lick her when she is trying to show Olive her approval.

These last two pictures I took this morning. I love this look. So many fun moments. And then letting me know I was taking too long.

A moment to blog

2010-04-22T22:30:00.001-07:00

A moment to blog... and I don't really know where to begin. Olive is asleep and for once I have not yet zonked out at the same time. One of these days I have to get better at blogging, posting pictures & videos, and actually making my blog look - a little less boring anyway.

A pair of Canadian geese have made our pond their home this spring and mama goose has been diligently setting on her nest for some time now... it has made me think about my own 9 months of nesting. Yesterday I looked out the window and they were hatching! So cute.

This morning Olive and I went with my mom to visit "great-gpa." His surprise and delight to see us was sweet. The moment I set Olive's carseat down, he was scrambling past his cane from his armchair down to the floor beside her just to gaze at her. Cute. I guess I do quite a bit of gazing myself. It's so fun watching a life unfold... a personality and face and toes that will always be like no one else's.

Olive has increasingly enjoyed going for walks... and we've had some mild days lately. Here Olive is holding her first dandelion. I walked all over showing her trees and flowers; when I stuck this dandelion in her palm to let her feel the texture she hung onto it for the rest of the walk.

Brian loves being a dad. It is fun to be in this new season together.

Final disclaimer... this blog formatting is funny but I can't figure out how to load the newest version of blogger and it's past my bedtime! Until the next stolen moment...

Olive's Escapades

2010-04-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

It's been so fun seeing Olive graduate from recognition to a twinkle in her eye, to a small smile, to huge grins and coos... this morning we were trying to catch some of her happy morning antics on video.

Despite these delightful moments, it's actually been a hard week. She has been extra fussy, naps have been difficult, a routine difficult to foster... but alas... it is nevertheless sweet - and hopefully will get a bit easier soon.

My Olive

2010-03-09T17:05:00.000-08:00

I am charmed and mesmerized. I am a mom. Something so vast in someone so small. I still feel that I can't take her in. It is hard to reconcile this child in my arms with any previous notion of parenthood. The little body nestled into my neck is a person I will know the rest of my life--someone who will continue to delight and fascinate me.

It has been a day absent of routine for Olive but now we are totally enjoying a moment together--both of us with full tummies, enjoying the peaceful swoon of Aram Kachachurian (a classical composer I was unfamiliar with). The computer screen is now rivaling the lingering twilight as our primary source of light. The fire has dwindled to a glow but I'm hesitant to disturb Olive to add another piece of wood. Her breathing is quick, uneven wisps and sighs intermittent with grunts or a solitary hiccup.

Hugeness

2010-01-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

I am getting so big. Today has been a tumble of fists, elbows, heels and knees.... a day of jabs, roundhouse kicks, sweet pokes and hiccups. Who is this little person? Seems to be quite a vivacious peppery sort. I hope she's not the kind of girl who's always late... I've been telling her she should come a couple weeks early. None of my recent pictures are very flattering... but here's one taken just before Christmas while I was making oatmeal cranberry cheesecake bars.

Raspberries in my tummy

2009-07-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

A thorough sigh that reverberates "mmmmmm." How good it is to reach betwixt rough yet welcoming vines to pluck dark raspberries from where they are hidden beneath their umbrellas of leaves. I am continuing to savor these berries as I sit on the couch, laptop atop-lap... my reward for watering while the neighbors are away. Abbey begged to come in the garden with me, so I let her sit and watch my picking. It was something like 8 good ones for my basket... 1 overripe one for Abbey. She approved. Now she lies contentedly at my feet within the perimeter of her rug, nestling a new toy (some bizarre brown stuffed thing that reminds me of Alf... I wonder what kid sent it to the goodwill before it came home with me). I also picked pie cherries and bing cherries - let's hear it for summer abundance.

A little U2 for a Saturday...

2009-03-07T17:28:00.000-08:00

This morning I met with a friend for a relaxed Saturday morning brunch. With my tummy full of egg casserole, bagel, juice & coffee, we sat on the couch watching the odd hail/sleet/rain/snow flurries out the window and talking about t.v. shows. Thanks Cristina. Brian got up at the crack of dawn for his opening shift at Starbucks. This afternoon we are listening to U2, finally paying attention to accumulating piles & neglected emails--this is for me the most re-filling kind of Saturday. I need these days of organization, quiet, weekend optimism and space for my soul.

My sister Candace has been reading "The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World" and has been enjoying it. Brian knew I wanted to read it and bought it for me as a way to nurture my own self-exploration. I can't wait to delve further into the pages tonight. Brian and I are going to make some mango-raisin couscous, a bottle of wine, maybe watch an old 40s flick from the library, and have a quiet evening. Doesn't the glory of such an evening in my mind confirm why I'm reading this book?

As far as life-place-journey-direction-ness... [deep sigh]... this can be a bit of an overwhelming question for me at the moment. We are both working, and for this, I praise God. I am extremely thankful that God ended that long lesson of jobless patience with employment. We are working toward restoring a little bit of savings that last year's schooling depleted. I am hoping to take some online courses from the same Canadian school. Brian is interested in other ideas as well, such as teaching, and community development education. I feel a bit paralyzed in all the future's ambiguity at the moment. At the same time, I think we are happy and trying to enjoy life's current season unto the glory of our God. I have become more open to future ministry/vocation not looking like I always imagined. Vamos a ver.

2008-12-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

The bottom of this wheat thins box is getting a little salty. I just finished the last one, my christmas tree looking on. I am feeling a little torn between sleep and projects... but I think sleep might win out tonight.

I started a new job last week - hooray - and there are so many luxuries I now enjoy, like being busy so that I have to schedule and prioritize. No more Craigslist or job searching. Anticipating the weekend. Times of rest being more restful. Two paychecks.

I'm so excited and enjoying the approach of Christmas.

Anniversary By the Sea

2008-11-14T13:30:00.000-08:00

My husband took me to the ocean this week for our third anniversary. It was cool, refreshing, and slow-paced. I discovered something wonderful--my yellow wellies. They carried me across salty sinkholes, foamy seaweed mountains, and into the cold tide.

Here Brian stands at the water's edge... and I have waded in (see me in the distance?)

Wanna see another favorite moment? This one is captured on video. At first we didn't recognize the moving black cloud on the horizon. Then we stood enraptured.

I love being at the beach with B--the dark skies and tumultuous waves were savage, vehement, bewitching and free.

Salmagundi

2008-11-13T22:20:00.000-08:00

Definition:	A collection of various things.
Synonyms:	conglomeration, gallimaufry, hodgepodge, jumble, medley, mélange, miscellany, mishmash, mixed bag, mixture, olio, patchwork, potpourri, variety

Salmagundi is a strange word I came across today. Although B & I have a collective blog and B has his own chronicle of creativity, I've been resistant to begin my own. Still, we all have moments of giving in, right? I don't want this blog to be a lot of things, so whatever you don't want it to be and whatever I don't want it to be, it won't be, okay?

Only... I'm not sure whether that promise is more freeing or terrifying. Freeing, freeing, sorry.
Today I slept in a little and as I was getting up, I got a "businessy" phone call. Now, when my husband wakes up, his voice is immediately full, strong and beautiful. He could conquer the world with that morning voice. Mine, on the other hand, is already pretty wimpy. Stack morning hours on top of my pitiful, diaphragm-lacking whimper--and there is no use trying to disguise the fact that I just woke up. Blip! (That's the hippest new blog profanity, by the way). Does anyone else feel like if they were abducted and had to scream for help, they would be in a lot of trouble?

Other noteables from my day--paint in my hair, another interviewer telling me that although I was wonderful, they hired the other more-wonderful candidate, being halfway through my 50s murder mystery novel, some venting of "God-I'm-tired-of-this-what-am-I-doing" stress, a beautiful rainbow against somber iron clouds, learning from Seth & Amy, admiring B's haircut and blue eyes, thankfulness.

Don't forget to drink your water today. That's enough for a first blog. First blogs shouldn't be very long. The end.